


feelings

by mahariels



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M, Love Confessions, Prompt Fic, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Watching Someone Sleep, but mostly hawke, everyone is bad at feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-07 09:19:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6798148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mahariels/pseuds/mahariels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>hawke isn't used to having feelings. they're <i>embarrassing</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	feelings

Fenris was sleeping. 

In her heart of hearts, Miriam knew she should let him be. Also in her heart of hearts, Miriam was entirely aware that she was terrible at letting _anything_ be, and also at letting things go, which is how she’d ended up the Champion of Kirkwall to begin with.

She was aware that she was hovering over him like some kind of creepy stalker, but that’s apparently what happened when you started having _feelings_  like some kind of school girl or chantry sister. She didn’t like having feelings. They made things unnecessarily complicated and embarrassing, and she did things that were not like her at all, like watching her boyfriend sleeping with such a gooey expression on her face that, if anyone had actually seen her making it, she would have had to kill them. 

But Fenris was Fenris, and here she was with an unfortunate case of feelings that had not dimmed even during their three years of separation.

He was sleeping, and her heart was making all kinds of weird swooping motions watching him, thinking how calm and relaxed he looked lying next to her, how it had taken them so long to get to this point (she was not going to think about the disastrous followup to the first time they’d fucked, no she was certainly not, not while she was busy indulging her _feelings_ ). She thought about all of the times they had fought together, and he’d saved her life, or she’d saved his life, really, their relationship was just one big life-saving extravaganza. But the feelings couldn’t _all_  be based on saving each others’ lives or she’d be in love with Aveline too, and she didn’t think Aveline would really appreciate that very much.

No, it was just Fenris. Many things about Fenris made her have feelings of varying sorts, more feelings and in a much wider variety than she’d admitted to having in a very long time. The way he’d come to her after mother died and sat with her and known exactly what to say. She’d had feelings then, too, so intensely it had hurt, a little. She’d resent him for it, but she couldn’t bring herself to resent him for anything for longer than five minutes.

What was it people said in these situations? She opened and closed her mouth, but it was difficult to get the words out. Sincerity had never agreed with her. But around Fenris, she found herself suffering dangerous bouts of it. Being a better person. Doing good deeds. It was a sad state of affairs, quite honestly. Her reputation would never be the same.

She _could_  say it, couldn’t she? Normal people did it all the time. Father had told mother he loved her constantly. She heard it tossed around so casually in the Kirkwall streets, almost every day. Certainly _she_  could say it when she probably, almost certainly, was _fairly_  sure, meant it? And he was sleeping, so it’s not like he was going to embarrass her with it later or hold it over her head as blackmail material. Not that Fenris would do such a thing, but she was a Hawke, and she prepared for every eventuality.

She’d have time to figure it out, right?

This was the safest time to say it. He was sleeping. He would not hear her. If she couldn’t do it _now,_ she’d never be able to. Miriam leaned forward, close to his ear. She could see her breath fluff his hair up. She opened and closed her mouth. It _should be easy, shouldn’t it_? But the words withered on her tongue. Her mouth was dry. She could feel her palms getting sweaty, like she was thirteen and six feet tall and covered in pimples again. It was so _embarrassing_ to be so overcome that she could barely say it.

“I love you, Fenris,” she whispered, finally, in his ear.

“I know, Hawke,” Fenris replied, without opening his eyes.

Miriam panicked and, instead of coming up with one of the witty quips she was so well-known for and rather prided herself on, recoiled and fell off the bed with a yelp of surprise and a loud _thump_ as she hit the stone floor.

The sheets rustled as Fenris rolled over, looking down at her sprawled on the floor. “Hawke,” he said and though she was no expert, judging from his expression, she suspected he might be having feelings as well. They were a pathetic pair, really. “Get off of the floor. You know I love you, too.”


End file.
